We can never discount the fact that even at this day and age, the Philippine’s general perception of family and business still leans toward the values of having the “son” running the enterprise and inheriting the major family properties. I’m not ranting that this is an unfair process but I do believe that despite how much we try to change the way we look at this issue, we still go back to the basic “beliefs”.
My dad comes from a Chinese lineage. He does claim that he does not want to follow the Chinese traditions wherein the son is given more favors just because he carries the family name. But, he can’t hide the obvious fact that his words contradict his actions.
Take the case of our business. A few years ago, dad started a small business that has grown to more branches. My brother, the only son, was given one. The other branches are still running, yet the other that was being taken care of my brother, closed down. It was very obvious that, this branch that was closed-down was mishandled. Let’s just say, this was attributed to the negligence of my brother. I could not see it any other way. We lost millions then. However, my parents did their best to justify this so that they can give the main business to my brother, the holding company that is.
That being the case, since I knew I no longer had the chance to own a part of the business, I as a younger sister had no choice but to venture out of my own. I had no support from my parents, financial or moral. They even criticized my decision of setting up a business as they felt it was not lucrative enough and I could not make it. My brother even said, I won’t make it to the third month. Since I started earning and getting more clients, they started talking about my success. Of course, dad had to; I still carry their family name.
Since I knew I needed to expand my business as I was getting more work, I needed financial support to buy the equipments. Swallowing my pride, I went to my parents to borrow a few hundred thousands. Remember, I had no property or land title to my name so I could not go to the bank for a loan. They did lend me the money but not a day went by that they didn’t remind me that I owed them that much and so for the next few months, I worked hard to let my business grow to get back the money and repay them. As for my brother? They didn’t even bother asking him to repay a single centavo from the closed-down business.
My parents are proud of my accomplishments now. It took me years to get their acknowledgement. I had to have my name printed in the papers and had to have big people in the business world say good things about me first. I had to exceed expectations before they started recognizing my accomplishments. But let my brother come up with one business idea or a single report and they would ecstatically jump for joy and call everybody in the family for a “get together and special a dinner.” All this, because he is a son.
Now, don’t take it that I’m complaining. I grew up having no choice but to look at the lighter side of things, to look at the silver lining of the clouds, so to speak. I have considered this as a challenge. Maybe, if my parents did not treat me this way, I don’t think I would have pushed myself to go beyond what was expected. After all, I still would want their recognition and would want to see them happy for me. It may take a lot for my part to do this, but at least, I’m still able to do so.
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